Protecting the Self

What happens when someone projects their perception of the world, their thoughts, emotions, and traumas, onto you and denies the validity of your truth? In personal relationships, we call this gaslighting. But what if this projection happens at a societal level and becomes a part of the mainstream educational system? We label it as colonialism, imperialism, patriarchy, oppression, political correctness, cancel culture, or something else. But fundamentally, we are enmeshed in the politics of knowledge. The details of history and culture change, but the mechanics of controlling knowledge stay the same. What I have learned is to be careful of becoming who I learn from.

The empowered path is to acknowledge that I play a role in this enmeshment. The infractions and micro-aggressions I receive from the external world to my intuitive voice and the synchronistic unfolding between my inner and outer knowing come from the same challenge: my failure to protect the boundaries of my selfhood because of a learned pattern to honour someone else’s perceptions more than my own. Inevitably, this has internalized as a fear of being seen and heard. At times, to create a false sense of confidence, I’ve needed to judge other people’s knowing as wrong. Instead of thinking, “There’s another way to go about this. Do you want to try?”, I’ve found myself thinking, “You are wrong. You need to do this instead.” But isn’t this the same kind of projection that I hated being the receiving end of from others?